Despair

I don’t understand. I’m taking my meds as prescribed and I’m trying so hard.

But there’s nothing I can show to prove how hard I’m trying. Because I’m not getting anything done. My counselors don’t seem to believe how hard I’m really trying. They have no way to know. All they see is that I’m not getting anywhere.

Every day I try again. And again. And again. I’m so tired. Isn’t it unfair and more than a little bit ridiculous that I’m so tired all the time even though I don’t work, I don’t study and I don’t go outside? Seriously, what’s wrong with me?

I don’t really know what to do. Trying more of the same seems futile, if it hasn’t worked so far why should it work the next time?

What’s wrong with me? Why am I still like this? Why haven’t I been able to get out?

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  1. #1 by la on August 22, 2011 - 1:00 pm

    I have nothing helpful to add, only that you’re not alone in feeling this way x

  2. #2 by Nhan-Fiction on August 22, 2011 - 1:02 pm

    It takes time, a LONG TIME in fact, before you will notice some changes. For instance, I was stuck in months of a depression haze until I slowly started to feel genuinely better about myself and my circumstances. You just have to keep persevering. One day, recovery can finally begin for real.

  3. #3 by serdeluzintensa on August 22, 2011 - 1:44 pm

    You are definitely not alone, I feel this way too.

  4. #4 by Roo Eater on August 23, 2011 - 1:30 am

    The only wrong thing is to believe that something is wrong with us. What is wrong or right, anyway? Who has the right to tell us that?

    • #5 by purplesapho on August 23, 2011 - 3:11 am

      I think something is wrong because I’m malfunctioning. Feeling bad all the time. Having no energy to do the things that I want to do or have to do. It’s not a matter of being different or accepting myself.

  5. #6 by Roo Eater on August 24, 2011 - 8:48 pm

    I didn’t mean accepting yourself or being different because somehow everyone is. I just wanted to say that right or wrong are states that are ruled under a reference
    which are not always right. But anyway, it’s just my humble point of view…

  6. #7 by Lareve (@Lareve) on September 2, 2011 - 4:56 am

    Sorry you are feeling so bad..hope things have improved slightly. try to be kind to yourself and not concentrate on what you havent done, know its easier said than done.LR x

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