Need to do something about the psychologist

Thank you guys for your comments. I seem to have spent so much time putting myself down, that I just focused on how useless I am for not being able to meet the goals and tasks required of me. But I think you are right. The psychologist is being unreasonable and to be honest, he’s rubbed me the wrong way since the very first time I met him.

I’m not just angry about my case. I’m angry about mental health services all over the world and about people not getting the support they need. In comparison, I have it good. Besides this psychologist, I have a new psychiatrist. He changed my meds. I thought: Whatever, nothing seems to really work anyway.  

But I’m taking them.

I can’t see my old psychiatrist anymore because it’s a private service, 400 km away, and my family has already said they can’t affort either him, the trip to meet him, and the meds anymore. The new psychiatrist has accepted to see me for FREE until I can make money on my own. That’s 1. Frigging sweet. and 2. A sign that somehow, he truly believes I can get better.

The psychiatrist and the psychologist talk with each other, and they say they have talked about me. But that doesn’t make much sense because they say very different things. The psychiatrist says that my management is mostly medical, not psychological, and that I need to wait until the new meds kick in before I even think about jumping into work or anything similar.

The psychologist seems to think I’m just lazy. He’s condescending and even hugged me the other day, which totally freaked me out. He thought my repelling body language just meant I’m an anxious person.

No, I couln’t see him today either. Didn’t leave the house.

Weekends don’t count so nothing will happen until Monday.

La is right, leaving the house for something I dread makes all this much more difficult, except I don’t really leave the house for any other reason, either.

Maybe just for buying coke at the store nearby. 🙂

  1. #1 by la on July 15, 2011 - 4:19 pm

    As I understand it, your re-entry into education is dependent on seeing this psychologist… but seeing this psychologist may seriously damage your well-being. It’s like some horrible trial by fire.

    I pretty much only leave the house to buy Coke (or sometimes Dr Pepper) too. I don’t know if you can get around your town without a car, but could you run errands for your family? Go to the store, pick up their dry-cleaning, walk your so handsome dogs… I wish we lived closer to one another. We could go out for Cokes together xx

    • #2 by purplesapho on July 15, 2011 - 8:55 pm

      Yes, if I quit all of this I may as well forget about all the help they’re giving me in practical terms. I have to go on Monday. At least to see the Dean (I have to see the Dean once a week), then once I’m already out it will be easier to go to the psychologist office which is in the same building.

      I’ve been too much of a chicken to actually tell the psychologist what I think. Maybe if I did, things could get better. I’ve been passive-agressively nodding at him then coming back here to rant about it.

      I wish we lived closer too. We’d definitely go out for Cokes together 🙂

  2. #3 by albinorealm on July 15, 2011 - 5:28 pm

    The depression and feelings of worthlessness can make what anyone says null, accepted as a comment made only because they are being nice, which is odd because being honest and nice don’t need to be mutually exclusive.

    I am glad that the comments have helped you to see how unreasonable this psychologist is being with you. I had a talk with the penguin yesterday and he called that approach ‘violent therapy.’ I told him recovery is a process, not something you can teleport to. His response was that sometimes some people needed to be teleported. The problem is, that if a person can teleport themselves they would have done so already. This suffering is not something we choose because we love it. Perhaps I would be willing to give your psychologist’s approach a go ahead if you happened to be in a facility where you were to be carefully monitored on your progress 24/7.

    Yet, this is not what he is offering. This ‘violent therapy’ of his abuses your psyche and he is not there to offer support when you fall. It is like pushing you off a cliff without a parachute and expecting you to miraculously find one as you fall, strap yourself and pull the chord at the precise moment required without ever having attempted anything remotely like it. In other words, what he is doing is pushing you off a cliff to die. I cannot emphasize how much this disturbs me. To think this guy has a license to practice . . .

    As for your psychiatrist, even if you don’t start out with a lot of trauma when you are first depressed, you certainly end up with it after a while. I think it is a mistake for him to not acknowledge the psychological aspect of your depression enough. I can only hope it is because he doesn’t know you very well yet and therefore has misjudged the full extent of your illness. At the same time, I am torn should he decide to address the psychological aspect more than he currently has. It is not that act that bothers me but the fact that doing so would mean sending you to that psychologist whom can only be described as reckless as best, and dangerous at worst.

    I agree with La about trying to find other reasons to go outside other than to see him. I just got a funny visual of depressed bloggers banding together to leave the house and buy Coke, Dr. Pepper or in my case, milk. o_o

    You are not alone. You have people that care about you and are rooting for your success. I truly believe that you will recover, and I’m going to be right there with you at that teleportation pad where we can go buy Coke (milk) and it would seem like the easiest thing in the world.

    I love you.

    • #4 by purplesapho on July 15, 2011 - 9:04 pm

      I love you too. .-.

      I agree about the psychiatrist not acknowledging the psychological aspect of my depression. I’m pretty sure I have one.

      :O I can’t believe you had a talk with the penguin.

      Also, a lot of what we say would leave outsiders going… WTF

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