I’ve been trying to sort my life out. I believe that my main problem now is my great difficulty in terms of functionality. The theory is that the loss of functionality is secondary to depression but now it’s actually the main factor responsible for my low mood. Or is it? I’m making this up but it’s all I have for now.
Oh yeah, I’m also dealing with lots of cognitive problems. Lack of concentration, poor memory, and glitches in language processing. I’m highly intelligent so I compensate for a lot of it. But it’s greatly frustrating.
I wish for my functionality to improve. Every day. But how exactly will that work? Right now I actually have a proper chance to go back to an active life. I have lots of things going for me, really. I already have a degree, and if I were to be cured tomorrow I’d have a world of opportunities waiting for me. But I’m not cured. It’s infuriating. It’s like being locked in a cage with a banquet in front of me, just out of reach, a la tantalus.
Everything is out there, so delicious, but I can’t get it.
The worst is… I know it’s not going to be there forever.
One day it’ll be gone.
I need to find my way out, fast.